Before the door closed behind him, Adam was undoing his trousers and instructing me to suck his cock. Soon he was telling me to masturbate for him, and it wasn’t long before he was fucking me with a dildo, enjoying the view: sharply spanking my clit if I made too much noise, his other hand pressed hard over my mouth as I came over and over again.
Wow. I needed that. Sweet relief.
There was a beautiful and deep feeling of peace in being witnessed in that way. I can’t quite put my finger on it- it’s partly being seen as a very sexual being; partly being controlled in that way is something I’ve been longing for. Since then I’ve felt like something deep in my being has been quenched.
That evening at a social gathering, friends and acquaintances commented on how well I looked, and I felt different… more confident… like some of my deeper insecurities had taken a backseat for a while. And today I’ve felt unquestioningly strong and solid in myself.
Is this good for me?
Sometimes I wonder about such kinky activities – “is this good for me?” I wonder if I’m helping myself move forwards, or whether I’m subconsciously playing out old traumas… I don’t know. I’m very curious.
But if it makes me feel the way it did yesterday, then for now, I can only jump to one conclusion 🙂