The first play date with George beckons and the anticipation is building. He has been shopping for various items that make me blush at the mere mention. Of course there’s dinner first, so he can no doubt tease me at the table.
He has experience as a dominant, and the match between our kinks is unusually neat. It feels like I am finally entering into the kind of dynamic that I’ve been seeking for a long time. My body is longing for it: already anticipating the sheer relief of submission. If you’ve experienced it you’ll know what I’m talking about: it’s a magic spell and it feels incredible.
Perhaps I wasn’t quite ready for this before, or even able to articulate what it is that I’m wanting. Perhaps I’ve had enough experience now to know what to look for and what is a red flag. Submission certainly has a scary aspect about it: the trust involved is tremendous. There is a necessary and exhilarating leap of faith.
Previously I’ve rushed into play at 200mph, keen to progress from the basics to something stronger and more powerful… without always quite knowing what, and sometimes before the dynamic was developed enough to support it. That is when BDSM can go wrong and someone can get hurt (physically and/or emotionally). And it has. I’ve done my utmost to learn as much as possible from those situations. Maybe I’ll share those here soon, in the hope it might help somebody else.
With George, I’m not rushing because I know we are both wanting more than just occasional play dates. I feel like small steps are good because we are building to something more. He feels emotionally in tune and sensitive to my needs. He zeroed in pretty quickly on precisely the kind of things I would love/hate, and now he’s awfully, horribly, delightfully certain what he’s going to do to me on Sunday!!!! Eeeek!