Feeling lonesome tonight

I’m feeling a little sorry for myself this evening.

I’m feeling lonely and lamenting how connections built over weeks and months can suddenly disappear. Dating life can feel full and exciting until you look closer and see a handful of shallow connections, easily shattered.

Feeling alone

You can spend months messaging someone who is super keen: having met and there being no romantic spark, that’s it, they’re gone. And those cheery “good morning babe” messages have gone too; the early evening “how’s your day?” and the “sleep tight xxx”. I miss those.

Dammit. Maybe I am looking for something a bit more serious than I initially thought. I think I want to feel cared about. That would be so nurturing and lovely.

This feels like a somewhat torturous game, with an end goal of figuring out what I actually want: in dating, in kink, and in life! And then being able to explain that to other people.

I guess I see each date as a step forwards in this journey. There’s something to be learned from each human interaction.

That’s me trying to be all optimistic. Sometimes it just kinda sucks.

Ruby x

4 thoughts on “Feeling lonesome tonight

Add yours

  1. It sucks, but it doesn’t. You are learning about what you need and want. You are learning about different situations. You are experiencing life—with all its ups and downs. But you’re looking for that “one” that meets your needs. One day you will find them.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. So true. In this age of Tinder and app/online dating, people have countless options and what we feel are real connections can just dissipate over night, sadly.

    I’m sorry you’re feeling lonely. As you said, every new interaction teaches us something about what we want or don’t want, and maybe more importantly about ourselves. Writing helps me so much during the lonely moments. It can take me away to a new place and time and at least for a moment bring back some excitement.

    Also a friend told me to create a list of the characteristics that I know I want in a mate. I resisted for a while but when I had another disappointing connection, I decided it couldn’t hurt. I met my current beau the same month that I wrote my list. I think maybe it just gave me more clarity as I started connecting with new prospects. It’s not a perfect pairing but it’s been wonderful so far.


    1. Thank you. You’re right- writing is a great help. I’ll try your list making idea. Interesting that’s when you met your beau…. like there was a clarity in the message you were putting out into the world.

      Liked by 1 person

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