About me

photo of a topless womanAged 33, I had cancer. It was the best and the worst thing to ever happen to me.

Among other things, I realised that I did not want to die without having explored my sexual desires. Essentially, life’s too short for bad sex!

Emerging from a long term relationship, I signed up to fetlife, took a deep breath and went to a local munch. I haven’t really looked back.

Exploring my kinky desires feels important in my path of self-development and spiritual growth. It feels like I’m investigating a deeper part of myself that no longer wants to be ignored.

I’ve been fighting old, learned thought patterns and ideas: that pursuing an amazing sex life was selfish; that I can’t have my cake and eat it; that mothers of young children aren’t sexy; that cancer survivors aren’t sexy; that single mums can’t/don’t have fulfilling sex lives. Please understand I’m not saying these things are true- but there were worn out stereotypes relating to sex, women and motherhood that rattled around in my brain.

blur cake close up cream
Having my cake and eating it!

I’m coming to accept my beautiful body, my strong, powerful sexuality, and loving the freedom that ethical non monogamy brings.

Who says single mums don’t have fulfilling sex lives?!

You can read here about my adventures and explorations, as I try to figure things out as I go along.

Ruby x


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