Purple rope

You've thought so much about what I would enjoy. I'm not used to that and I'm so touched. You tie me so tenderly: the soft purple rope fitting around my breasts. It feels lovely and you take me to the mirror to show me how beautiful I look. I could shed a tear but I... Continue Reading →

Alarm bells

Remember the play date I was so excited about in my post "Anticipation"? The blushing, the magic spell, the bliss of submission etc etc? Well according to George, I've gone cold. Like yesterday's porridge, I am no longer on the menu. "I always like to inspect a new sub." George had it all planned. The... Continue Reading →

BDSM for newbies

Writing about a new partner made me think about approaching play for the first time and how to stay safe and happy. I thought I'd share my thoughts in case it's helpful to anyone out there in the early days of exploring dominance and submission. Things to talk about with a new partner before you play... Continue Reading →

A date with Robert

I’m not too nervous for this date because the chances are high he’s going to be a complete wanker and after half an hour, we'll be paying for our drinks and ordering separate Ubers. My first thought on seeing Robert was that his online photos are really rather out of date. Still, he is handsome,... Continue Reading →

Dating kinky

I’m not going to date someone who isn’t brimming with kinky desire. I’ve tried it, and I end up feeling hollow, empty and sad. It just doesn’t work for me. It’s not that sex always has to be kinky- I still very much enjoy vanilla sex- but I seem need regular doses of kink. First... Continue Reading →

Kink peels back my defenses

I'm learning to be me. Sometimes it's really hard: to say yes when no tumbles out automatically; to give an honest answer when someone asks me how I am; to ask for what I want when it goes so completely against my grain to do so. Kink seems to provide a surprisingly helpful place for... Continue Reading →

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holding it together as I journey through therapy - a personal account of what it's like to be in long-term psychotherapy navigating the healing of C-PTSD, childhood trauma and neglect, an eating disorder, self-harming behaviours, as well as giving grief and cancer an occasional nod.

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